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Morning Rituals

If you’re a Mama or Daddy, or in any way raising kids then you can relate to the “morning rituals”. perhaps though you’re a very hard-working Mama or Daddy, Grandparent or Guardian and this is just not something you have time for.

I was 21 when my oldest was born. I was newly married and did what I thought I was supposed to do. We played, had snacks, watched cartoons and had nap time. When my oldest was 1 1/2 yrs old I found myself going through a divorce and as a single mom now needed a job. I found a great career job in the insurance industry and now was a single working mom. “morning rituals” were non-existent. I didn’t have time.

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When my oldest was 5 yrs old I found myself newly married this time to my best friend and as we were expecting our first, my second, he offered for me to quit working and be a stay at home mom. I’ve had my ups and downs with this role. I’ve had 3 babies all together when my oldest was 9 yrs, and the middle one 3 yrs we welcomed our last boy home.

Over the years with school and babies, depression and health problems I’ve tried my very best to be the best mom I could. When I look back to my first and see what I didn’t do it saddens me because I look now at my youngest and see what I’m still able to do. Time flies so fast you don’t realize till its gone.

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I never had “morning rituals” with my oldest. He now as a freshman in High School and 16 yrs old wishes to live with his dad. I have my two younger ones to think of and we have these “morning rituals”.

I wake earlier than them so I can get the milk warmed up for hot coco with marshmallows too. I go get their clothes and lay them out on the couch. Turn the tv on to their fav toon, Spongebob. Go nussle them awake and grab blankets for them to snuggle in so they can enjoy a cup of coco with toons before their day starts. I make their lunches making sure to cut the crust off. I gather all their things and ready them by the door. Help them with their coats and off we go!

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I could make them do it all themselves. Most do, I did with my first. I can’t help watching my babies grow so very fast though and think of how my teen doesn’t need me at all and wonder just how much longer I have with them as they need me for so much. I’m not going to look at it as another chore for me to do. I’m going to enjoy every moment and cherish it. One day all too soon they will be grown men and not need me for much. I think that’s when I’ll get a cat! For now though we will continue in our silly “morning rituals” and I will spoil them as much as possible!

Keeping Time

You know those tick tock clocks that just sway back and forth helping you keep time with the piano? If I close my eyes I can hear the soft tick tock, tick tock in the silence of my day. I try to focus on the beat of it to get just one step after another done. I get so overwhelmed with my lists of things to do that I hop from thing to thing and nothing ever gets done. So I listen and embrace the tick tock to help me through my day.

Running late for school, racing to get the kids up and around. Always in a hurry, hurry, hurry! Going to this function, attending this party, participating in this activity! GO! GO! GO! Time was my keeper and she wasn’t kind. I was so frustrated and stressed at it all. I felt like time was this evil end to me that was always on my mind. The clock was always clouding my vision to all other things around me.

When my oldest moved out and leaving me down to just two boys instead of three I thought it would be easier. It was harder at first and I raced even harder against time to keep my boys from feeling the heartache of missing their older brother. After a couple of months of racing my middle one, who had just assumed the role of oldest in the household, took me aside and said “Mama, lets just stay home.” My two little ones were okay with not running everywhere. They didn’t want to watch the clock for any reason what so ever. They just wanted to play and be outside and enjoy what ever life threw them that day and let the next be a new adventure! My boys taught me to relax and let go.

I never played the piano, I never played any instrument yet that soothing comfort of almost heartbeats I always found calming. With two little boys running a muck and living with Mama and Daddy still our house can get frazzled so easily. Chaos consumes my weekends so that when Monday comes I find my time-keeper and just breathe.

Just Keep Swimming!

My youngest who’s almost 5 and  my middle one who just turned 8 think that they can go all over the field and play without Mama’s watchful eye. They told me they are too big now for being watched. So I stay close to the door and have both ears on them! As I hear blood curtaling screams and go running. I am  greeted by two smiling faces that are now laughing because I came running. They said they were fine. I asked why the scream. They didn’t seem happy that I was there too quick because they had to let me know again they are too big now for a Mama to always be there. I asked what they were playing. Storm chasers and the last tornado almost sucked them up! NOT FUNNY on soooooo many levels! UGH and my babies are growing up! And I suppose I’ll just have to let them. Its so hard though and I have to almost have a “Finding Nemo” theme here because like Marlin I just don’t think my little nemo’s are ready yet! But as they keep telling me as long as we “just keep swimming” we’ll be fine.

My Oldest Son, He Saved Me By Being Created

The following is my story of my oldest son. I tell my story because if it helps just one then its worth telling. We should all be here for each other and our experiences in this life can help the others get through some of the darkest times of thier lives. My story is now repeating in the life of a cousin and I pray my story helps her keep hope! I love you dear one, I’m here for you ♥ ………..

My son is now 14.  Its really hard for me to think of him as a young adult with just a few more years of schooling. He is a bright, intelligent, funny and extremely sensitive and loving person that I’m very proud of. Looking back it was a very rocky start with him and at the beginning I didn’t even want to be pregnant but once I found out, I knew I wanted him.

I was 21 and just married to my first husband. We lived the “party” lifestyle, you know drinking and drugs. A baby was the last thing on my mind. We used protection, okay sort of, but when your in a drugged out drunken stupor you really don’t think about that. He wasn’t making enough money so he decided to sell some drugs for an uncle of mine that at the time was into that sort of thing. So we had some traffic coming and going, were making deliveries and living that “party” life. Everyone assume I got knocked up and that’s why I “had to” get married, funny how assuming can be wrong.

I had been married for about a month and was two weeks late on my period, I was feeling like I had the flu and smoking was making me more sick. It was my mother-in-law at the time that suggested a pregnancy test, I thought “yeah, right… Me? whatever” So I went and bought one. I waited till the next morning because back then, I can’t believe I’m now old enough to say “back then” LOL. Okay so back then you waited till your first morning pee and that’s what I did. Sure enough it said prego loud and clear! Whoa, OH MY GOD, I’m gonna be a mom… .weird but cool. That’s exactly what I thought as I smiled and hopped up from the toilet to go tell my hubby. His reaction wasn’t the same, he said “That’s just F***ing great!!!” and rolled back over to go back to sleep. I was devastated. I thought okay I’m married, and we’ve played so now its just time to grow up, take responsibilities and raise a family. Right?

My first job, make a healthy womb for this baby! I quit smoking, drinking and drugs that day, cold turkey and started eating better, well when I could. I was so sick for the first six months I didn’t eat that much but I gained good enough. I told my doc about the drinking and drugs in the first month and then the detox on my system as the pregnancy progressed and we took tons of tests that praise the Lord all were fine. I may not have thought about becoming a mom but accidentally getting pregnant at the time I did was a blessing in itself. My baby saved me just by being created.

It was a very troubled pregnancy just from the worry I caused myself by living so recklessly on top of the marital problems that were building because of him not wanting another child. I didn’t get to be happy or enjoy my pregnancy like most get to, I didn’t have any baby showers, I wasn’t spoiled rotten by the daddy to be, and I was sick all the time and at one time hated being pregnant so much that I just as soon ended it right then. It was a very depressing time for me also in the fact that my hubby was rarely at home any more, I didn’t go to parties with him and I had firmly put my foot down as to the fact that we needed to grow up and take responsibility. His response was , ” your the one pregnant, not me” and he walked out the door.

The closer my time came the more I had yet another uncle come by at night and stay with me, we didn’t have a phone at the time and me being so close to being due this particular uncle was very inclined to stay and never leave me alone by order of my Grams, bless her heart.

I went into labor the morning of the 29th of April and delivered a very healthy boy at 8:45pm in 1997. As soon as I saw him I new my life would be changed forever and in a very good way. I vowed to that little precious boy that everything I did from then on would be for his benefit and that I would make his life as great as I could.

My now ex-husband was there for the delivery and then said, ” call me when your ready to come home” and I didn’t see him till I was released a couple days later. That was just the beginning. I suspected him of cheating and he wouldn’t quit the drugs so reluctantly after marriage couceling had failed to work and 1 1/2 of trying my just over a year old baby and I moved back home.

It was the scariest thing I did, I had no money, no job and not only myself but also a little one. No matter though how horrible things looked I couldn’t regret the one soul in my life that had saved me from a destructive path I was headed for.

I love my oldest along with my other two boys and my now very wonderful hubby, we have each other and are all very happy.

My message in telling this story would be that accidents are wonderful blessings and that people can change for the better, they just need a chance.

Bullies

Unfortunately with the start of school comes that horrible thought. “Will my kid be bullied?” or maybe “Is my kid the bullier?” UGH! Its enough to through your hands up in frustration at the school sometimes.

I do not have a huge problem with my boys and this problem. My oldest has been called names and shunned but not physically assaulted. My middle one, who wear’s his heart on his sleeve and wants everyone to like him, thinks when a classmate looks at him the wrong way he’s being bullied. My boys have never been beat up or anything like that. I’m very very thankful for that too because I know it happens even in our po-dunk small town.

I have friends that thier children are being bullied and you see horror stories on the news, yet another reason I really don’t care to watch it! Most people it seems don’t have time for thier kids. The ones that bullied my oldest the most were the churchy-christian kids. Yup that’s right. Now I’m a christian and I’m not saying anything against christians however you can’t work your job and come home to go to all your clubs and social events, bible studies and commity meetings and expect the church and school to raise your kids. You have to kinda get involved there. I see ALOT of that.

With my middle one like I said he just wants to play with everyone and the whole class to just be great friends. THAT is a terrific idea and great for him, well except when someone is having a bad day and doesn’t want to play.

My husband and I were never too bullied as kids, as in never beat up just called names. So I can’t relate to physical abuse but I can the negitive and verbal abuse. My advice to my boys, IGNORE IT! Nine times out of ten if you just shruge your sholders and say “SO” then the person saying the bad thing will move on to another. I’ve been called plenty of things and still am to this day, some of my family and very close family at that is very highly mentally and emotionally abusive. I’ve developed a very thick skin so I deal with it mostly.

As for the physical abuse, like I said I’ve never had that problem and don’t ever want to have to deal with it not with my kids, grandkids or great-grandkids! Who does? No one. Well we raise our boys to defend themselves. NEVER start a fight but they have our very blessed permission to beat the hell outta someone that is hitting them! We don’t care if fighting at school is against the rules and they get kicked out, thier lives are far, far more important than a diploma that can be recieved in the mail at home.

I think how each family chooses to deal with bullying comes down to how they dealt with it growing up and how they were raised. Me and my hubby were raised…. well Miranda Lambert said it best in her song Gunpowder and Lead.

“I’m goin’ home, gonna load my shotgun
Wait by the door and light a cigarette
If he wants a fight well now he’s got one
And he ain’t seen me crazy yet
He slap my face and he shook me like a rag doll
Don’t that sound like a real man
I’m going to show him what a little girls made of
Gunpowder and lead”

Now this may not be very forgiving or possitive but my life is very precious to me and so are the lives of my children and that is very possitive in my book!

Your Kids Are Listening, Just Give Them A Chance

I was in the grocery store with my 4 1/2 yr old yesterday and as I was checking out and grabbing the bags he wondered back down an isle. Now this is a small town grocery that I was not worried about his getting lost or taken. So I’m standing at the door hollaring at him to come on. When around the corner he comes and I see him hiding something under his shirt! With the pop guy right behind me and people all around and checking out I yelled at the top of my lungs ” I do not think so young man! Now you take that back since you have not paid for it and we are leaving now!!!!”  He glared at me and said, ” Mama…I don’t like you!” I glared right back at him and said that he didn’t have to like me but he most certainly had to listen to me! And he did just that! This whole time I was praying that God help me because my only other option would have been to put down the groceries and go after him. Ugh, wouldn’t have wanted to do that! So thank the Lord that my baby is finally listening!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!

We had a very in depth conversation on the way home about stealing and jail too.
Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart
from it.” (KJV) Kids hear you, just keep repeating it! It’ll all sink in sooner or later.

Their Only Little For A Little While

I started this morning as I do most every Saturday morning. I want my hubby to hurry and wake from his “sleep in” and take over on the Daddy duties so Mama can have some “me” time.

He’s been working alot of overtime the last month. 60+ hours a week and so I don’t want to bother him I just really need a break. I get the kiddos settled in front of the tv for a couple of fav shows of thiers and a nice cup of cocoa and cross my fingers as I head into my craft room.

It isn’t 10 mins into my projects that they come through the door. I’m instantly in a bad mood. I start to yell at them to leave and my middle one. Mr. Emotional that’s been at school all week just wants to spend some time with me doing something. Well how can I say no? Its Mr. Ornery that I’m not wanting to be around right now.

I put my stuff away and ask what on earth do they want?! They just want to craft with me. Oh…geez I feel horrid.

So hears my opinion: Put your stuff away and give them the time of day! Your stuff will still be there later or tmro, but they won’t. I have a 14 goin on 30, LOL and he really doesn’t want to do much with me. These two younger ones do now but in about 5 – 7 yrs they won’t. Take the time now with them. Enjoy it because it will fly so very fast!

This is one of the lego creations we made this morning 😀

Embracing Simplicity

I’m sitting outside in the sun soaking up the rays. a slight breeze carries the smells off the farm in which I live. I hear the children play. Enjoying the nice summer day and I wonder… is this it? Is this my destiny? Just to be a mom? No fame, no fortune, no career, no special ladies groups or luncheons to cater, no dinner parties to go to? Maybe so, maybe this is the path that God precisely called me to and here I am going against it the whole way.

 

I use to think I’m just a mom and that its nothing great and exciting. I stay home. We are poor, oh I try to show we have money, because really that does look better to people doesn’t it? Who wants to have coffee with a friend at Starbucks and they are just in dirty jeans a tee shirt with some wear, no make up and a ball cap on?

 

So I’m finally embracing my life through the simplicity of it all! I AM POOR!!!! I embrace that reality now. Its who I am. Yes I re-wash plastic wear and wash out plastic baggies. We stay home all summer because gas is expensive. We don’t go out to eat hardly ever and I might go to Wal Mart once ever other month. I don’t have a house cleaner or babysitter and I really do have to take them with me everywhere.

 

So we craft as we can, and have sidewalk chalk. We blow bubbles on a windy day and the boys play army in the dirt. We play games and read books. Make Christmas presents in July and bake cookies and cakes. Sometimes we just sit outside and talk about if we won the lottery what we would do first.

 

To my amazement and utter joy as a parent my boys talk of things of necessity and helping family first then they talk of all the fun things. It hits me then I’ve given my boys more than some even with having less.

 

I’m just a mom but then again so was Mary…. the mother of Jesus Christ the worlds Savior.

Day Before School Starts Rush

Its the day before the first day of school and we had some very intense running to do! I loaded the kiddoes up, snacks and toys. I also had a chropractic/accupuncture appt for stress and anxiety ( hummm… I wonder why?) I picked up my baby Sis to enlist her kid watching expertise! She was thrilled, okay that might be a tad sarcastic, LOL. I did take her to lunch along with us however it was kids pick and she just “loved” that!

With all the running and weaving in and out of traffic, it wasn’t as bad as say NY in this pic but still it’ll wear on ya. Especially if you’ve got three very tired and bored boys in the back just itchin to pick a fight!

I stopped in for some treats on the way home and blasted the toons. One fell asleep and the other two calmed down. I sang the rest of the way home with a smile on my face.

The negitive was having to stop at 7 differnt places with 3 boys not wanting to be there…. the possitive was being able to cut up, joke, have lunch with and enjoy the pleasure of thier company before they have to be in school now all day.

Always find the possitive!

Grand Central Station, NYC, USA

 I’ve never been however I at times feel I live there, LOL.  A little back history on me:

I live in middle america on a farm with my loving and wonderfully supportive husband for whom I’d be just plum crazy without! My three very active and outside loving boys. We live with my mom and his dad. Yes you read that right! My hubs and I criss-crossed the family tree. I love to tease people by saying we wanted the land to stay in the family, HA HA HA HA HA.  Its a lovely story maybe I’ll share one day 😉

We live on the farm, all together with tons of animal. Horses, cows, chickens, pigs, llamas, geese, ducks, turkeys, dogs, cats, guinies, goats and sometimes rabbits. We all so get some coyotes and deer around here too. There are times I wish to pull my hair out because it so feels like it could be GCS but because I’ve never been then I can’t really say. Even though its fun to say it 😉

I started this page to vent, share and maybe through my life experiance if I help just one person with the stories or quotes that I share….. its all worth it!

Blessings to you all! Have a very wonderful day ♥ hugs ♥ 😉