You know those tick tock clocks that just sway back and forth helping you keep time with the piano? If I close my eyes I can hear the soft tick tock, tick tock in the silence of my day. I try to focus on the beat of it to get just one step after another done. I get so overwhelmed with my lists of things to do that I hop from thing to thing and nothing ever gets done. So I listen and embrace the tick tock to help me through my day.
Running late for school, racing to get the kids up and around. Always in a hurry, hurry, hurry! Going to this function, attending this party, participating in this activity! GO! GO! GO! Time was my keeper and she wasn’t kind. I was so frustrated and stressed at it all. I felt like time was this evil end to me that was always on my mind. The clock was always clouding my vision to all other things around me.
When my oldest moved out and leaving me down to just two boys instead of three I thought it would be easier. It was harder at first and I raced even harder against time to keep my boys from feeling the heartache of missing their older brother. After a couple of months of racing my middle one, who had just assumed the role of oldest in the household, took me aside and said “Mama, lets just stay home.” My two little ones were okay with not running everywhere. They didn’t want to watch the clock for any reason what so ever. They just wanted to play and be outside and enjoy what ever life threw them that day and let the next be a new adventure! My boys taught me to relax and let go.
I never played the piano, I never played any instrument yet that soothing comfort of almost heartbeats I always found calming. With two little boys running a muck and living with Mama and Daddy still our house can get frazzled so easily. Chaos consumes my weekends so that when Monday comes I find my time-keeper and just breathe.